"Currently women represent 51% of the population, 57% of college graduates, half the work place, and 54 percent of voters but only hold 18 percent of the top leadership positions across all sectors."
– Nancy D. O'reily, PSYD: Leading women
Although women are holding high numbers in population, education, graduates, voting and in work places, many women are not applying for leadership positions. I think some women feel that when they take a role in leadership or become a boss many people do not take them seriously because they are a woman. In the book that I am currently reading Leading Women many of these women that share their stories say that have not taken positions in leadership because leadership comes with power and tha word power can be threatening and offensive to others. Another woman also shared that the word power speaks to dominance and she did not want to be affiliated with that. My message to you any woman or girl who feels like they can't be a leader because they don't want to sound or look "bossy" is … take that role, apply for that job, speak up when you know shit is fucked up ! Do not allow others to project their fears and their beliefs onto you especially when it comes to your dreams. We as women are so powerful and can make such an impact if we start negating the preconceived ideas of how woman are "supposed to be".
Last Friday was a bittersweet moment for me as I attended my last school event- ever. With only 17 days left of highschool I am realizing that highschool has been fun and has also been a whirlwind of emotions for me. Prom was fun and I enjoyed myself while talking, eating and dancing. These kind of events always make me feel good about my school and about myself !
I got my dress from renaissance bridal in York and when I was picking dresses out this dress was not one that I had picked out. It was barely holding onto a hanger next to my dressing room when my mom suggested that I try it on. When she suggested me to try it on I called her crazy. Anyone who knows me knows I enjoy wearing mainly dark colors, like grey or black so when she suggested green I was scared. I tried the dress on and instantly fell inlove but just to make sure I really loved it I tried on about 20 other dresses after that only to realize that the green dress was the one for me.
Below are pictures from my prom day!
Dress: renaissance bridal
Makeup/Hair: Tiffani Rose Cooley
facebook @ MarkedByTiffaniRose
I hope that people become so inlove & comfortable with themselves that the only thing they are able to project onto anyone else is love itself.
1. Read a self help book
2. Take some selfies
4. Buy some flowers or something you’ve really been wanting.
5. Rearrange your room
6. Take a bath, use some bath bombs and just sit & soak for a while.
7. Create a “To-Do list”
8. Make an inspo board
10. Google uplifting quotes, motivational phone backgrounds.
11. Declutter your room/house
12. Create a positive affirmation for yourself.
13. Watch a TED talk.
14. Play outside
15. Say No to one thing every day.
16. When you have a thought… write it down.
17. Apologize when you ARE wrong.
18. Use a planner. Decorate it, make it fun to use and look at. Use it more than your phone
19. Record what you are thankful for everyday.
20. Put your phone on the charger in another room when you go to bed. ( This one is HARD for me)
Growing up I was that one kid who was always in grown folks business, and I always acted older than I was. I used to enjoy hanging out with people three times my age better than hanging out with my peers because they never really interested me enough. As I began to get older I noticed that my maturity level was not the same as my peers. I was ahead of them in a lot of ways and I had a different type of personality that in my opinion, turned people off. I was blunt, always spoke my mind, talked even when I was not asked to and always felt like I needed to chime in on things. This type of personality began to translate to others as me being mean, aggressive and, angry. Although there were some situations that I let my emotions get the best of me, I do not believe that I am all of these things. Now that I am a lot older and have been through certain situations I have learned that certain shit doesn’t need a reaction and I do not need to speak on things all of the time. Now, ironically even with me taking a step back and humbling myself many people, especially my peers still continue to call me angry. In school, I do not have many friends and it is because as I mentioned before, my maturity level has always been higher than those around me. One of my peers made a comment to me the other day suggesting that my life is “so mediocre” I purposely act a certain way to make others feel bad or to “ruin” other people’s lives. She also suggested that since I have decided to separate myself from people that I am a troublemaker and I don’t know how to keep friends. These types of comments surely do not make me feel bad about myself because I know who I am but they do make me think. Comparing my current self to who I used to be is a battle for me because it seems as though regardless of how I act or what I say and do people will continue to hold onto the preconceived impressions that they have always had of me. I have not and will not choose to believe that I am angry, miserable, mediocre and, mean. My truth is that I am so passionate and driven by so many things my mind is constantly spinning. My heart is constantly racing and touched by things that affect me. My mom always tells me “you attract more bees with honey than you do with water” and when she said that to me the first time I was like “Okay mom what the hell are you talking about” but now being told that I am miserable or mean and nasty I have realized, I will attract more bees with my honey than I will with pouring water on them. These types of comments do not need a reaction from me. Instead, I want the people who have been making this kind of comments to watch me work and live in my truth and I want my life to be an example to them of how someone can be passionate, driven and positive but still not take anyone’s bullshit. I think that is the reason why a lot of people have this kind of perception of me. I am not a fan of fake shit. I hate small talk, if I do not like you I will respect you but the fake “lovey dovey” shit isn’t going to happen with me. I call people out when they are wrong and I don’t take anyone’s crap and I believe that reason is why I am all of these things to people. In society nowadays people want to be able to talk out of their asses without any backlash or repercussions and that’s not okay with me.
I go to a predominately white school that really prides itself on “diversity” ( Ironic isn’t it?). Our school is terrible when it comes to creating conversations and spaces to talk about discrimination and race, etc. A lot of the time we have these talks I am hesitant to speak up because of these preconceived ideas my peers have of me. I do not want to be that “angry black girl” but to be honest I am fucking tired of not being able to be angry, black and, a woman at the same time. Being a woman is hard, but being a black woman is extremely harder. It does not matter how much pain we are feeling or what we are going through because our expression is always translated as being angry, bitter or aggressive. I feel like most times people want me to minimize myself or omit pieces of myself to satisfy their comfort but I am done doing that. It is not my job nor responsibility to carry the burdens of others on my back. I will continue to live by my mother’s motto “ You attract more bees with honey than you do with water” but I will make sure that as I am attracting bees I am attracting goods ones and ones that support and understand me. Although I stated that these negative comments made to me do not need a reaction I think I have to work on teaching myself when to pick and choose which ones to react to. I think it is important to invest my reactions into situations that will have a positive outcome. If I have to be the angry aggressive black girl to make a point and to educate someone then, by all means, I will be her.
We got puppies!!
I feel like I should have posted this so long ago because our puppies are 3 months old now but better late than never.
I posted about our Dog Bella who we had to put down due to health issues. After Bella’s death my family swore up and down that we wouldn’t get any more dogs and that we would never be able to love another dog again…. well we lied. Months after putting Bella down a friend of my dads was selling puppies and my dad contemplated the idea for a while. After some thought he decided we were going to get another puppy. We got Hades and just a few days after we got Hera. NEVER in a million years did we ever think we would have two crazy puppies running around especially two Rottweiler puppies! We got the name Hades from the Greek God Hades who is the God of the underworld and we got the name Hera from Hade’s sister who is the Greek goddess of women and marriage. The names worked out perfectly and we are all so absolutely in love with our puppies. Although Hera is the small one out of the two she is vicious! She is so smart, so quick and always alert. She’s only three months and she can get up and down the steps on her own. Hades on the other hand is my big baby. Hades is smart but he isn’t as quick or alert as Hera. Me and my family joke that he’s the goofball because he’s HUGE and he’s clumsy.
After we put Bella down I really never thought we would ever get another dog again. Im so glad we decided to get Hades & Hera because they helped to bring life and excitement back into our home and it’s so exciting to watch them grow.
Hera’s full name is Hera Bella McNeil in honor of Bella and Hades full name is Hades Cyrus McNeil in honor of another Rottweiler we had while I was growing up.
Above is Hera and below is Hades
Follow their Instagram @Hades_and_hera
Also, follow my sisters page @organicpawstries where she posts about all of the organic and grain free dog treats she makes. Our puppies love them!
*P.s, all photos pictured above were taken with IPhone 7+ camera.
1. My hair
My hair, among many other things, has been something that I have struggled with for a very long time. When I was younger I relaxed my hair without knowing the damage it was doing to the beautiful kinky curly hair that I had. I relaxed it every school year for the first day of school because straight hair always meant “clean” and “neat” to me. I began going natural my freshman year of high school and although I still used a lot of heat on my hair, I began to trim my hair regularly, condition 24/7 and take care of my hair as much as I could. I have finally gotten to the point of loving my hair so much I celebrate it in photos and I love wearing it out and letting it do its own thing. Before, I used to never wear my hair out unless it was straight but now I feel so liberated and powerful when I wear it curly and let it style itself. I believe that when I began to really love my hair I finally began to love my entire self.
2.My ability to see the good in every situation regardless of how hard the situation was.
I have noticed that in troubling situations I am always able to see the positive side of things. Especially when I am giving advice to someone (especially my best friend) I always try to remind her to think of the good things and to try and see the brighter things in situations that might be hard to deal with. I love this about myself because it allows me to be level headed and also allows me to be aware of all of the aspects of every situation.
3. I love that I make people laugh and also can make myself laugh
I am a person that loves to make other people laugh and making people laugh is something that makes me feel good about myself. In my family, I would say me and my dad are the funniest people in my household so, in situations that we are supposed to be grown up, we usually are always joking around or laughing. It is good to be able to make yourself laugh and learn to laugh at things in life. Laughing helps me balance my emotions.
4. I love that I do not care about what other people think of me
As I mentioned in #1 I have struggled with loving myself a lot in the past and as I have grown and gotten a lot older while working on my confidence I have realized that what other people think and say about me is none of my business. I am confident in who I am and I am very self-aware so carrying the burden of worrying about how others see me is a waste of my time and energy.
5. My “go get it” attitude
With working for the last three years and learning that I absolutely love to work and be independent I have noticed that I have a “go and get it” type of attitude. Everything that I have is because of myself. A lot of teens my age have the assistance of their parents when it comes to supporting themselves financially but since I have been working the financial burden of taking care of me has been slightly lifted from my parents. This type of attitude has helped me with my confidence in the decisions I have made and will continue to make and it has also helped reminding me that I can do anything as long as I work for it.
I have been following a healing page on Instagram for quite some time now. The page is called @Wehealtoo and it is for anyone who is in their healing process from a situation that has required some healing. I love this page because it is just oozing with love and positivity and it helps me to take a minute to stop and think about things. This page does a Journal Topic every day on topics such as self-love, strengths and weaknesses, self-care plans, health, etc. I usually take these journal topics and write them down in a personal journal but I thought since this blog is a platform for growth, sisterhood, and conversation, that I would just start sharing my journal topic entries with you all! I will be doing a journal topic every day and if I am too busy to post one every day my hopes are to post at least two a week. I want you guys to comment on the posts in reply to the journal topics and I also hope that you take the journal topics into consideration when journaling on your own. Below I have attached a picture of this Instagram page so that you can follow them and keep up with their journal topics and daily posts. I am excited to share my journey of growth and healing with you all and I wish that you will share yours with me as well.
We must stop calling women “girls” we also must stop referring to famous women such as Maxine Waters, Angela Rye, etc as “African American Woman” when mentioning them in an article. I.e the video below. We must stop disrespecting the women who are at the front lines of all our marches and protests and who fight so diligently for us all.
The disrespect needs to stop!