“On this day a year ago..” 

Don’t we all love that facebook never forgets to remind us of that selfie we thought was so bomb a year ago, or the political rant we went on, or the song lyrics we posted during our first heartbreak or even the meme we thought was hilarious but we are now realizing was kinda corny?  Facebooks fairly new feature has been a tool that has helped me realize how far I’ve come. Surprisingly enough I am no longer embarrassed by the things I’ve posted 1 or 2 years ago, instead I am excited. 
Yesterday, facebook shared my memories from three years ago. Both of the memories are posts that I do not agree with now. The first post talks about “not being thirsty” and “having respect for yourself in order to receive respect”. I didn’t even realize it but my opinions have changed. I feel that self respect has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else but yourself. In order to receive respect you must give it to other people first. I don’t believe that in order for you to receive respect as a basic human being it should be based off of the amount of respect you have for yourself. It’s really coming for men or even other women to suggest that in order for them to respect a woman she must have respect for herself. When you ask a woman to have respect for herself before you can respect her you are suggesting that she already doesn’t have any respect for herself. In most cases, many women do respect themselves it’s just not in the way you want them to. It’s only when a woman doesn’t adhere to someone’s archaic views that they are told they “do not respect themselves”. Three years ago I did not agree with this, three years ago I would have told woman around me and on my social medias to “cover up”, “have respect for yourself” or “don’t be thirsty”. I’ve grown out of that thinking and I am so happy I did because I have realized that self respect looks different to everyone. It was differently, talks differently, acts differently and thinks differently and it’s not my job to tell anyone what they self respect should be. 

The second post was an article from WGAL (my local news station) talking about the new “trend” women have started by not shaving their armpit hair and some women were even dying their armpit hair different colors. My response to this article was “lol ew, not judging anyone who does this but I think it’s kinda weird” after I posted this my caption was followed with other comments made by women about how disgusting women were for doing this and how it was just another way to try and “disintegrate the beauty of women”. OMG!!! I cannot believe I ever said that, let alone believed those words. I don’t even shave my damn armpits anymore, or my legs, my lip or down there!!! Like I previously mentioned I did not even notice that my opinion on these things have changed. It’s like over the past three years my opinions have evolved and I did not even notice they did. The bottom line is I think women should do whatever they want to and with their bodies. Our bodies are our homes and, our temples and if a woman wants to shave it, tattoo it, pierce it or anything else for that matter, those decisions are solely up to her!! I believe there is a lot of pressure put on what beauty is and should be and I think a lot of that comes from society, some of it comes from culture and it can also come from the pressure of our families or friends but as women I think we should all realize that we are all beautiful. Most importantly I think we are all special and intelligent, innovative and, strong and we should focus on those characteristics more. 

I am so glad that facebook has reminded my that I have grown, will continue to grow and that even though I feel a certain way now there’s a possibility I will not feel that way a couple years from now.

 Lately, a lot of people have been telling me that my opinions and beliefs will change and that I won’t ” be this way” forever. Although I have just explained that I know they will change.  I would like to add that even though I know my opinions will change id like for them to change on their own and at my own pace. I think often times a lot of people discredit teenagers of their opinions and political standpoints because of our age and I’d just like to say that isn’t fair nor does it even make sense. I may not have as many experiences as someone older than me, I may not have been through as much as someone who is older then me but that does not and will not make my opinions invalid and should not take value away from my ideas or thoughts. 
If you are young and you are passionate about something and you have a lot to say, say it. Don’t be afraid that you’re too young, do not be afraid that you’re not “experienced” enough. Do it, because “experience” is birthed by taking risks and making decisions. You can always come back a year from now and acknowledge that you have changed and take it as a stepping stone towards growth. Do not allow people to tell you what you are and what you are not. For now, be young, passionate, driven, loud and, crazy about what you believe in!! 

Love, J 


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