Although I am the youngest of three daughters I have always been the “big sister”. I’ve always been the tallest, the strongest and the chubbiest. Those characteristics have set me apart from not only my sisters but from many other people in my life. Growing up I didn’t always pay attention to my weight because in the eyes of a small kid, weight isn’t a big deal. But once I began to get older and got into middle school my weight and many other things began to feel like they were the things defining me. I remember in middle school, in the seventh grade there was a period of time where all I wore was basketball shorts and a sweater because you couldn’t see my thighs jiggle in long shorts and you couldn’t see my stomach. Id always wear big heads bands because at the time my hair was terribly dead from relaxing it all the time and it was super short. A lot of my peers especially some of my male peers made fun of me because my hair wasn’t as long as some of he girls we knew or I wasn’t as skinny as them. These things began to eat me up inside. I always felt different, at home I had to beautiful sisters that in my eyes were flawless and had nothing to be insecure about because they had nice bodies, long curly hair and people would always tell me how pretty they were. So secretly I was constantly battling with feeling so insecure about myself even at home.
As time went on and I got older I realized that my body was MY temple and I don’t really care what people think anymore. I got tired of always feeling like someone was gonna make fun of my hair or make fun of my stomach rolls, I got sooooo tired of always wearing basketball shorts and big tshirts. So although it took a while, I found confidence within myself to love ALL of me ALL ways. When I was in middle school I came across Alex Elle’s instagram page and instantly fell in love with her. Not only her words but just the person she is. She has been through so many things but is still able to practice positivity and self love so strongly. I began to become Inspired by her OWN self love that I wanted that for myself. I started literally speaking her words into my mind everyday. I’d check her page religiously for updates on new poems or just daily self love reminders and I started to notice that my insecurities and the things I hated about myself started to become obsolete.
I’ve gotten to the point in my life now where I am no longer insecure about the thinks I once was and I am such a happier person knowing that wherever I go and whatever I do I am filled with my own self love and acceptance. I decided to get Alex Elle’s words tattooed on my arm as a constant reminder to ALWAYS love my self in ALL WAYS. I spent so many of my younger years hating who I was but I’m so happy to have gotten to this point in my life that I don’t care about those things anymore.
I look at myself and say “wow you have stretch marks, cellulite, your stomach is chubby, your thighs jiggle. But you are STILL SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL”. I want every young girl and even guy to know that we ALL have insecurities, we all have things that we battle with and sometimes it feels like they will always been something that we will be insecure about but trust me, you will have a break through, something or someone will inspire you or you will inspire yourself to love yourself. It is important to take care of the people around you but it is more important to take care of yourself, because if you don’t you are unable to care for others. Self love is so important to practice especially growing up in a society that is so pressed on what women and men should be and look like.
Find yourself, love yourself and always remember that you are beautiful ❤️